A typical morning at my house begins with a stumble to the coffee pot. I love the fact it has a timer I can set so its final belch greets me as I make it to the kitchen. Armed with freshly brewed caffeine goodness I head to my office, all of about 8 steps; my house is rather small and plop down at my desk. What do I see? Horrors! The power light for my monitor is dark, not even the orange light it gives me when it's asleep. I flick the power button, nothing happens so of course I spring in to action checking connections, rebooting the computer, trying a different plug, all to no avail. My coffee sits patiently off the side, cooling its heels waiting for me to notice it. My sleep befuddled mind starts to go in to overdrive and hear myself thinking the same things I heard over the phone while doing tech support. "It worked last night! It couldn't have just died! I wonder since its not getting any power what the hell is going on and surmise my used video card took a crap , then realize I would see the No Signal message or at least the power light would be on. Then I began to make a plan to get myself back in the game by heading to Fry's electronics to get a new one, though that will have to wait until tomorrow which is Saturday. I realize my coffee is starting to get cold so I stop for a minute and slurp some down. Wait! I have my old Gateway laptop collecting dust on a bookshelf right here. I'll fire up that old bugger, that's why I've kept it around just for situations like this. I know it will be slow but at least I can get back to something of my normal routine. Coffee one disappears down my gullet as I impatiently wait for my roachy little laptop to load and I head out for a refill. Finally it loads, I check my e-mail, a couple of pages I like, jot down some ideas for things, though I just get generally frustrated trying to make a computer get with the times that was new when Dubya was in office, before I have to head out to the work space.
My wife and I work somewhat staggered hours and on any given day our start times and end times are 3 to 4 hours apart. When I'm required to do overtime we can go a few days without seeing each other and came up with the idea of a spiral-bound notebook we leave next to the coffee pot to communicate with. Sometimes serious, though more often silly it's just our way of keeping in touch with the other when they aren't there. My note this morning of course ended up rather long recounting the death of my monitor and ended with the suggestion we head off to get a new one this weekend.
A few hours later I pulled out my phone and read the following text on my break:
"Good morning hubby...Good news for you. Your monitor isn't dead. I turned it off last night because I was surprised it was on and I didn't want the image to burn into it. I really didn't look to see what it was I just turned it off....read your note and turned it back on. It works fine...."
Facepalm.
My security stuff runs in the wee hours of the morning that is what my wife noticed. Apparently I couldn't figure out how to push the power button this morning. So score one for me on the gooberific moments list while I sit here, grin and shake my head. Moments like this I'm glad I can laugh at myself and those escapades often end in a coughing fit because I laughed so hard, like right now. Since I don't want to add to the already long list of serious already out there, there is one thing though I for sure will be serious about. Seriously, no more tech support without at least one cup of coffee.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Airheads & Egga Muffins
I just read that Longmire on A & E has not been renewed
for a 4th season and I’m pissed though not all that surprised with
the state of the entertainment industry these days. Granted, fans like me of
the show got 2 more seasons of Longmire than those of us who loved Firefly. Then again that
was on the Fascists On Xanax network, so should we really have been that
surprised? As I remember A & E started
out as the Arts & Entertainment network, though I think now it stands for
Airheads & Egga Muffins, where we are treated to such gripping TV as Duck
Dynasty & Storage Wars. No, I don’t
watch that s***, though I do see the promos for it when I fast forward through
commercials on my DVR. I really think
the big execs in the entertainment industry see the majority of us a collection
of morons. The “reality TV” that fills the airwaves is akin to a greasy burrito
fart in a crowded elevator; you can’t get away from it; the endless promos show
up no matter what you are watching. That type of show in prime time really got
that engine rolling full bore when Survivor hit the airwaves. Is that still on? The entire genre has snowballed out of
control. I tried watching Jersey Shore once and couldn’t stop asking myself, “Why
is this mess a TV show?” Maybe I’m a dinosaur, but I do remember
when almost every show was only in black & white and TV was not very sophisticated
for sure, though now it feels like we are regressing, to what I know
not. I marvel, briefly mind you, at the offerings we gobble up as entertainment
currently and wonder what is coming down the pike next. I’m sure TV execs
are banging on the heads of their writing staff for a dazzling new schlock filled idea to draw on our collective addiction to living vicariously through our TV
screens. I wonder, if the people we live with, and that includes ourselves, are
we just not interesting enough anymore. How did we get so broken? End of rant, time for a PB&J and a book.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
To My Other half
MIRRORS
You
are a mirror
of
myself.
Pictures,
of sunsets, laughter,
books
on a shelf.
I've
seen the end of the universe
in
your eyes.
Motors
running top end,
moving
to overdrive.
Infinite
possibilities
I do
fathom and wonder,
taking
chances
no
fear of blunder.
I
feel your heart
when
I look in your eyes.
Glittering
passion,
soulful
sighs.
Two
minds well met,
after
many tough miles,
the
crowd in the room
overlooks
knowing smiles.
When
I listen to you
I'm
hearing me.
The
lessons I've learned
or
need to see.
You
kiss my cheek or
hold
my hand,
your
love washes over me,
from
end to end.
Mindful
and grateful,
for
the moments we share,
a
kiss, a laugh,
a
toss of thick hair.
My
mirrors reflection
reminds
me to see,
there
are no judgments
between
you and me.
Pardon My Dust
I've have been fiddling with the look of this blog trying to find something I like for a layout, adding some page gadgets, and just in general making this place look better. I finally realized why I was seeing no comments because of the way I had comments set up. Boing! Oh well live and learn right? A little bit of reading and some experimentation and lo and behold I now have a labels list. The fact that it took so long to get it right I don't really want to admit to, but I think I just did.
To those of who take the time to read what sprouts from the end of my fingers as I bang away at my keyboard I thank you for your support while I continue on with this endeavor and for your patience with the changing face of these pages. Let me know what you think. Thanks for stopping by.
To those of who take the time to read what sprouts from the end of my fingers as I bang away at my keyboard I thank you for your support while I continue on with this endeavor and for your patience with the changing face of these pages. Let me know what you think. Thanks for stopping by.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Draft of Fantasy on tap
I somehow managed to score first pick in our Fantasy
Football League draft today. It is odd picking first then waiting for 18 picks,
then picking 2 back to back , then wait for 18 more picks again, then picking
two and so on over and over. My wife and
I play in the same Standard NFL.com league and only play each other once this year. One league is definitely enough because that takes enough time since I can't seem to stop hunting the waiver wire. Do I promise to not tinker with my lineup so much this year? That will be an emphatic yes, though you can't see me crossing my fingers behind my back. I am hoping I
have a pretty much set it and forget group this year if people stay healthy. We’ll see I guess, here are the culprits:
RB – Jamal Charles, KC
RB- Reggie Bush, Det.
WR- Brandon Marshall , Chi.
QB- Matthew Stafford, Det.
WR – Larry Fitzgerald, Ari.
TE – Greg Olsen, Car.
WR – Marques Colston, N.O.
RB – DeAngelo Williams, Car.
WR – TY Hilton, Ind.
RB- Danny Woodhead, S.D.
RB – Ahmad Bradshaw, Ind.
K – Matt Bryant – Atl.
WR – Golden Tate, Det.
Def. – New Orleans Saints
Def. – Arizona Cardinals
Off to the Vet
We took our cats to the vet for their annual checkup and
vaccinations. We had to go on Saturday, which made for a long wait. Everyone
else that works had to be there too. We saw one of those tear at your heart
moments when a guy come in to pick up his dog's ashes in a little wooden box.
Pets are part of the family after all and it was tough to see. Our two are usually not easy to get in the pet
carriers before we go. This time when we brought the carriers into the living
room their natural curiosity worked to our advantage and we were able to scoop
them up and get them inside without a struggle. Of course we were regaled with sounds
of discontent due to their incarceration, first with outrage, then fear to
finally grudging resignation. When we got to the vets we hardly heard a peep. I’d
imagine their experience was like the sensory overload akin to my first and only
time in Vegas, occurrences which I know neither of us is in a hurry to repeat. We had to wait a while for the vet once we got into the exam room.
Oh crap , you can see us hiding in here.
You keep watch over there, I'll handle this direction.
We heard the vet working on a cat in another room. It sounded just like he was hollering, "NO!"
What are they doing to that guy?
Finally the vet showed up to do exams, which really didn't take all that long.
If we ignore you will you go away?
They both got a clean bill of health other than some tartar on teeth and news that our two chowhounds are a little overweight. They made themselves scarce for a couple of days sleeping in dark corners while the aftereffects of their shots wore off then it was back to business as usual.
Friday, August 15, 2014
Wire and Grit or Something old, something new, something...
...dusty.
Many nights this past year I`ve wanted something light to read as I drowsed away the last vestiges of the day in my recliner. Said recliner was my day time hangout spot in addition to being my bed for all of 2016; I`d would on occasion read one or two of my older blog posts. Sometimes I`d find and do some missed edits or bad grammar. More than once I realized I didn`t remember writing a particular post and was often 3/4 the way through before my memory kicked in. I`d like to think it was because of all the drugs the docs had me swallowing and not my memory. I happened across the post that follows here as it appeared to align with events of the week. This just passed Sunday ended up being a day to think about old friends; those that are still here and those that have since taken their step.
Since the 2017 PBR, the most dangerous and longest 8 seconds in sports, came barging through the gate on to my TV screen a few weeks ago. From the first event many of the riders have worn a patch for one of the young cowboys, he was 25 and died right before the season started. A dangerous sport that supplies real danger both inside and out the arena, i.e. at work or home.
I reposted what follows here because it just seemed to fit the day Sunday. If any of you have read the rants and riffs that trickle from my fingertips you know that I`m not above doing this if the mood strikes me; I confess to being a rule breaker from way back.
I hope for all of you; your day of 86,400 seconds has been put to good use so each second was filled with lots of good stuff like friends, love and peanut butter.
Especially peanut butter.
Robin Williams suicide has continued to be big news all week with the accompanying grief, sorrow, tributes and insensitivity all combining into a giant WTF. The tributes have been fun to watch, some sparking laughs, others sniffles revisiting one of the world’s great talents. Those are the type of things we all need to do when someone that touches are lives moves on, to keep track of the good. Of course there are always the insensitive clods that have a burning desire to show their corrupt personalities in public. I’d send these knuckleheads a pallet of asshats, though I refuse to pay the postage. Can you still send stuff COD? When you consider the source why are any of us surprised? I won’t waste digital real estate by using names, anyone that hasn’t been under a rock the past week knows of who I speak.
Many nights this past year I`ve wanted something light to read as I drowsed away the last vestiges of the day in my recliner. Said recliner was my day time hangout spot in addition to being my bed for all of 2016; I`d would on occasion read one or two of my older blog posts. Sometimes I`d find and do some missed edits or bad grammar. More than once I realized I didn`t remember writing a particular post and was often 3/4 the way through before my memory kicked in. I`d like to think it was because of all the drugs the docs had me swallowing and not my memory. I happened across the post that follows here as it appeared to align with events of the week. This just passed Sunday ended up being a day to think about old friends; those that are still here and those that have since taken their step.
Since the 2017 PBR, the most dangerous and longest 8 seconds in sports, came barging through the gate on to my TV screen a few weeks ago. From the first event many of the riders have worn a patch for one of the young cowboys, he was 25 and died right before the season started. A dangerous sport that supplies real danger both inside and out the arena, i.e. at work or home.
I reposted what follows here because it just seemed to fit the day Sunday. If any of you have read the rants and riffs that trickle from my fingertips you know that I`m not above doing this if the mood strikes me; I confess to being a rule breaker from way back.
I hope for all of you; your day of 86,400 seconds has been put to good use so each second was filled with lots of good stuff like friends, love and peanut butter.
Especially peanut butter.
Robin Williams suicide has continued to be big news all week with the accompanying grief, sorrow, tributes and insensitivity all combining into a giant WTF. The tributes have been fun to watch, some sparking laughs, others sniffles revisiting one of the world’s great talents. Those are the type of things we all need to do when someone that touches are lives moves on, to keep track of the good. Of course there are always the insensitive clods that have a burning desire to show their corrupt personalities in public. I’d send these knuckleheads a pallet of asshats, though I refuse to pay the postage. Can you still send stuff COD? When you consider the source why are any of us surprised? I won’t waste digital real estate by using names, anyone that hasn’t been under a rock the past week knows of who I speak.
I’ve had my own experience of being close to someone that did
take themselves out and I’m sure more than one of you out there have as well. To say the
least this was an experience I do not wish to repeat, even the asshats mentioned even they had a Mom. I had a running buddy during those days when
disco was on life support, the Champ was a shadow of his former self and the
Steel Curtain was turning to rust. If those references are outside the scope of your American history ask someone you know who was around at that time, someone over 40 years old. My good friend was quite a character. Mikey was a sawed-off collection of wire and grit that
didn’t know when to quit, whether it was working or playing. I swear he had
calluses not only on his hands but his insides too. Lunch was often a
bologna sandwich – just 2 pieces of bologna between 2 slices of white bread, no condiments included - just bologna and bread. This was frequently washed down with an ice tea glass half full of peppermint schnapps. If you looked past his leathery face and
gapped toothed grin you found a real heart of gold. He was truly one of those
guys that would give you the shirt off his back , he would actually take his off and give it to you. He was always willing to lend
a hand. That’s why I hired and later fired
him 3 times over a decade of our paths crossing. Our paths would head in opposite
directions for a while. Then providence would throw us together again and I`d I hire him because he would work until you
made him stop and would be the one individual that had already proven much more than once that he was the most dependable individual I had in the crew. Eventually I would have to let him go, though I would hate doing it when he would go off the rails. I hated to mostly because he was a close friend, always my most dependable member of that decade of Gregg and the 3rd because he had forgotten more about a particular subject than I would ever now about it. The day I knew he had stopped being dependable, as junkies are prone to do was always a sad day for me. The day of THE talk always took a few days for me to overcome the sadness for doing what I knew needed doing
I hadn’t seen him for a few months after the last time I had to turn him loose when he called me to borrow a step ladder. He was painting the new place he was settling into with his girlfriend and her daughter. We spent a couple of hours sitting in front of his fireplace telling war stories and laughing our asses off. It was the happiest I’d ever seen him. I told him when I left I‘d come get the ladder when I needed it. Several months went by and I hadn’t heard from him , which wasn’t unusual, so I went out to his place to get my ladder back. When his girlfriend answered the door she seemed a bit out of sorts, which wasn’t out of the ordinary for her – she was often well lubricated with booze. I told her I came to get my ladder and asked where Mikey was. She looked kind of stunned. “You didn’t know? Michael OD’d last month, a couple of months ago he found out he had AIDS. “ My legs turned to jelly and I was glad the house had a 2nd floor. We sat and talked for a bit about what the hell happened. I was dumbstruck at first, then I realized knowing my stoner brother like I did I knew he wouldn’t say anything to anyone about what was going on inside him. His brother had died of AIDS a few years before and he told me more than once he wouldn’t go through the same shit he watched happen to his brother. I stumbled around in disbelief for a while trying to get my mind around what happened. I attempted to stay in touch with his girlfriend after, but she disappeared into the nethers not long after and I don’t know what happened to her. Initially I was angry at him for not saying anything to me, then I realized that was selfish on my part. Coming to that place for anyone is extremely difficult and personal. Judging him for his choice because I didn`t agree it would the carbon copy of pegging that first stone then trying to hide my hand in my pocket. Events like those of this past week bring that all back, with the entire collection of nagging whys and what ifs, along with the feeling I wasn’t paying attention to the signs. I asked his lady friend if she knew a particular glass or coffee mug he used most and if so could I have it. She rattled and bumped around in their kitchen for awhile and returned with a coffee cup. I used it for coffee every day for a couple years until it shattered into 8,000 pieces, give or take a few, compliments a ceramic tile kitchen floor. The man I knew definitely fit the idea that family is often folks you or I don’t’ share the same bloodline with. I still miss him.
I hadn’t seen him for a few months after the last time I had to turn him loose when he called me to borrow a step ladder. He was painting the new place he was settling into with his girlfriend and her daughter. We spent a couple of hours sitting in front of his fireplace telling war stories and laughing our asses off. It was the happiest I’d ever seen him. I told him when I left I‘d come get the ladder when I needed it. Several months went by and I hadn’t heard from him , which wasn’t unusual, so I went out to his place to get my ladder back. When his girlfriend answered the door she seemed a bit out of sorts, which wasn’t out of the ordinary for her – she was often well lubricated with booze. I told her I came to get my ladder and asked where Mikey was. She looked kind of stunned. “You didn’t know? Michael OD’d last month, a couple of months ago he found out he had AIDS. “ My legs turned to jelly and I was glad the house had a 2nd floor. We sat and talked for a bit about what the hell happened. I was dumbstruck at first, then I realized knowing my stoner brother like I did I knew he wouldn’t say anything to anyone about what was going on inside him. His brother had died of AIDS a few years before and he told me more than once he wouldn’t go through the same shit he watched happen to his brother. I stumbled around in disbelief for a while trying to get my mind around what happened. I attempted to stay in touch with his girlfriend after, but she disappeared into the nethers not long after and I don’t know what happened to her. Initially I was angry at him for not saying anything to me, then I realized that was selfish on my part. Coming to that place for anyone is extremely difficult and personal. Judging him for his choice because I didn`t agree it would the carbon copy of pegging that first stone then trying to hide my hand in my pocket. Events like those of this past week bring that all back, with the entire collection of nagging whys and what ifs, along with the feeling I wasn’t paying attention to the signs. I asked his lady friend if she knew a particular glass or coffee mug he used most and if so could I have it. She rattled and bumped around in their kitchen for awhile and returned with a coffee cup. I used it for coffee every day for a couple years until it shattered into 8,000 pieces, give or take a few, compliments a ceramic tile kitchen floor. The man I knew definitely fit the idea that family is often folks you or I don’t’ share the same bloodline with. I still miss him.
Today, and the days to come, are about the aftermath for the Robin`s family and friends left and
their attempt to move forward after an event such as suicide. Eventually the
hubbub will slow down and those still on this plane will be left to carry on with all
the questions that are tagging along unspoken while they deal with the events of right
now. Little by little,less visitors will arrive at the door carrying coffee cakes
and casseroles until you’re left with your their thoughts
about what has occurred. It takes effort to focus on the good of what was
shared prior, when the rawness of someone you love being ripped from your life
and going forward for a time is akin to auto pilot. You know what you need to
do and you do it, though you do it with a heavy heart. After a while you string
enough of those types of days together and realize Life goes on because that’s
what Life does, being ever mindful of
how precious it is.
2012 - Though hard to see it the hat has a propeller on it.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Nanu Nanu
One of the world's great talents is gone. The how and the why will be speculated on and reported about ad nauseam for the next few days. I'm guilty as the next person who gets caught in the train wrecks that splash across the net on a day to day basis, though in this case none of that stuff matters. What matters is Robin Williams has moved on: we will no longer have him to entertain us. I heard a comedian say once, "That being funny all the time is hard work", for the life of me I can't remember who said it, but Robin Williams made it look easy. I've seen all the TV shows and movies he has done and though many of them were really good, to me where he really outshined other comedians and actors was when he did an interview. The interview would typically have some idea, thought or word that could turn on a dime into a riff or rant about something apparently nonsensical and at the same time be right on point, usually with an impression or an accent thrown in for emphasis. At that point the interviewer was totally off point and everyone was in rolling in the aisles with laughter, which I think was HIS point. He made the ad-lib an art form, that to me was his gift to us. Thank you Robin. You will be missed.
Saturday, August 9, 2014
The Grocery List
Ask
anyone that has known me for any length of time and two things will probably be
mentioned. The first, Gregg has his own language and secondly he talks
backwards on purpose. This little ditty is about the first of those. After a
few years living in Arizona I began working in an antique and collectibles
store. About year or so later one of the
owners became very ill and a few days before he passed on he asked me to take over as
bookkeeper and to help his partner keep the store going, which I agreed to. The remaining owner had a bit of an air of a
Southern gentleman, though it was frequently more air than gentleman.
Anyone who has ever experienced the
joy that is working in retail knows you have days you can’t stop to piss and
others that are deader than Abraham Lincoln.
During one of those cemetery quiet days after I’d straightened, dusted
and vacuumed every item in the store within an inch of its life plus sharpened every
pencils I found I still needed something to do. I started a grocery list, just a few
things to pick up on the way home. I
left the list on the counter and went off to do something in the office only to
hear hysterical laughter rolling at me from the other end of the store. Ric,
the owner, had the list in his hand.
He looked
at it, looked at me, looked at the list again and asked, “What is THIS?” , while waving it in the air.
“It’s a
grocery list.”
He threw
his head back and howled. “WHAT! A grocery list? This isn’t a grocery list! There’s things on here I’ve never heard of. Boy
you are outta your rabbit assed mind! If you sent ME to a grocery store and I asked
for the stuff on this here list they’d take me away in a straitjacket.” I grumbled to myself that decision had already been made for him. He perused the list again and just continued
to screech with laughter until he ran out of breath and had to lean on the
counter.
“I sort of have
my own shorthand.”
“I’m glad
you know what this says cuz I would be absolutely pixilated trying to figure
out what some of this shit is if you sent me out of here with this.”
He put the list down on the counter
and walked away shaking his head, occasionally bursting in to a loud cackle. He
just went waltzing through the aisles of the store, straightening this and
moving that, all the while telling the chairs and lamps waiting patiently for
new homes, “The man is crazy.” From that day forward he always wanted to see
any grocery list I wrote. He would look
at it and laugh then trot off laughing to himself and muttering under his breath.
The list probably looked some thing like this:
Now let’s fast forward about 13 years
to the first few months of dating the wonderful woman that is now my wife. At that time we were both living close to the
nut and eating berries and bark as our main form of sustenance. We both like to cook so instead of going out
we would take turns making dinner at either her place or mine. One night it was
my turn to make dinner and I told her I had to change what I was going to make
because I was out of fred brums. It didn’t seem to faze her in the least and
dinner was a success despite the change in plans. Little did I know where that brief
conversation would lead.
A few
months later Dani was cooking dinner at my house again and asked me if I had
any bread crumbs. I reached in the cooking supplies cabinet, grabbed the can,
handed it to her and said, “Here ya go, fred brums.” She took the can and froze, then looked at
me.
“What did you say?”
“Um here ya go, fred brums?”
She stood there with a look of stunned
surprise on her face, slammed the knife she was using on the cutting board and said,
“OH.MY.GOD.”
I’m a bit flummoxed at this point and really
wondering what is up so I venture a cautious, “Uh, What's wrong?”
Then
I saw the look that I’ve grown to adore. Her mouth gets little and her eyes get
big for a moment, then the hands start to move in circles and go faster as the story she
is telling unfolds.
What follows next all spewed from her in
one breath.
“You are NOT going to believe this I went to
FOUR stores looking for fred brums because I thought it was a spice or
something you really liked and used a lot and you said you were out of it So I wanted to
surprise you with it one day because I had never heard of it and I thought that
would just be something special to surprise you with I even spent almost an hour in the spice
aisle in Safeway looking at everything before I asked somebody Now I know why the people in the grocery stores looked at me like I had 4
heads”
I
immediately pissed myself laughing.
Dinner was delayed a bit while we
laughed till our sides hurt though I know dinner turned out okay, they always
do. Anyone listening to the number of
times Oh God! was said during those 10 or so minutes would have suspected Billy
Sunday was back on the revival circuit and in my kitchen.
Since then we’ve both had plenty more
gooberific moments like this one to laugh at ourselves over. I know I’m definitely way ahead in
the count on those types of moments though no one is really keeping score
mainly because laughter always wins. That reminds me, I think we're out of fred
brums again.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Bears with Dingleberries
I saw a commercial the other night that made me question
evolution. Not the argument between Darwin’s ideas and the Creationists. No I’m
talking about something much less volatile though of vital importance to each
and everyone one of us. What set my mind adrift in the sea of contemplative
nonsense was the evolution in the marketing of toilet paper. This is big, we all use it many of us have our
own special names for it. Some of you know it simply as TP, others are more
self -conscious and whisper the words bath issue like they trying to avoid
anyone knowing they use it. Sometime the direct
approach can work best so I imagine the words shit paper causes anyone a
moments doubt about its use. Then there
are the odd family monikers that are borne from simply sharing space year after
year. Often no one knows why it was given its household name, and becomes similar to that crazy aunt who lives in the attic and can only be talked about in
code when company is around. Growing up in my house we called
it sheet music, the origin of its birth name lost in the pages of time, though
the name still stands as a testament to tradition if nothing else.
I remember my mom telling stories about being the 9th
of 10 kids a in small Connecticut town in the decades after World War I. “We had 14
rooms and a path with the Sears Catalog hanging from a nail inside the door of
the outhouse. When only the shiny pages
were left us kids would race to the mailbox when the mailman came hoping the
new catalog had come in the mail and then fight over who would get it first.”
Living through that period of severe lack during the 30’s she developed an
appreciation for “modern” things like automatic washers and soft toilet paper.
After watching toilet paper commercials for many years I ‘m
still surprised that it’s never called that on TV, instead it’s always bath
tissue, which to me has always been odd because it implies it’s tissue you use
for a bath. Anyone who has ever had the
misfortune of dunking an entire roll knows that you are left with a big wet
useless wad of gloppy mess. I’m sure there are some of us who remember how well
wet balls of toilet paper stuck to anything and everything in junior high, the
only drawback of course was getting caught flinging it. I grew up watching Mr.
Whipple feeding his toilet paper squeezing fetish and shooing away anyone else
that tried to satisfy theirs. After many
moons of trial and error for softer, fluffier and more absorbent sheets we have
finally graduated. Now to hawk those sheets of softness we have bears with dingleberries. One shudders to think, what would
Mr. Whipple say?
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Finally Football
The long wait is over. It’s August and
that means the start of preseason games for the NFL and fantasy football angst
will soon engulf the premises. Time to crank up NFL Sunday Ticket and bring on
the games!
I watched some of the Hall of Fame
induction ceremonies over the weekend and per usual it didn’t disappoint. It
was good to see Claude Humphrey and Ray Guy get in through the Veteran’s
Committee, which I think was a good idea when it was added to the selection
process. I remember how good a player Humphrey
was and I ‘m glad to see him get recognized finally. He suffered the fate of
some other really good players that were on lousy teams like the Falcons were in
the 60’s and 70’s. One of those guys
played behind him at middle linebacker, Tommy Nobis. It is hard to believe he
still hasn’t made it in. Players on
winning teams have always had more air time and ink which definitely helped their
chances, especially if they had game. The get Ray Guy to the Hall of Fame
campaign paid dividends and that is a good thing. He changed the perception of
punters into being more of a weapon and it was about time he got in.
I’d love to visit the Hall again
since the last time I went it was less than 10 years old, the summer after
Super Bowl IV and there were only 75-80 players inducted at that time. I’m willing to bet the gift shop is a lot
bigger.
Monday, August 4, 2014
I Want a Refund on My IQ points
My lovely wife was channel surfing on Saturday and she came across the SyFy channel showing the Sharknado movies back to back. We watched the last 15 minutes or so of the original and laughed our asses off at how bad it was. Like ridiculously bad, like I will run out of adjectives to describe how bad and no I don't want to type all that mess either. It truly was a train wreck of epic proportion that we couldn't stop watching I'm sad to report. If they were going for a certain look when they made this waste of film they nailed it. I'm sure it will become a cult classic and like with most cults I feel the need to run away, far away. Fifteen minutes of watching this was like a condensed 6 hour Beavis and Butthead marathon, I just felt dumb as a jar of dirt for sitting through it. We looked at each other as the credits rolled and posed a question in stereo, "what the hell was that? We came to a consensus that we wouldn't be able unsee that and we each had probably lost a few IQ points. I want a refund.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
A Camera, a TV, and a Crowbar
My Tuesday started off with a trip to the ENT where I had a little bitty camera on a stick stuffed up my nose so the doc could look down my throat. If I said it was a totally whack feeling to know something has been stuck in my head through an orifice that can barely accommodate finger, would you fault me for shuddering a bit once it was removed? No worries I survived my moment of being creeped out. The doc laughed when I told I couldn't keep my eyes open while he was working that camera since it just felt too weird knowing what he was doing. He gave me some samples and a script and sent me on my way.
Due to the efficiency of my ENTs office I was in and out of there so fast I still had some time to kill before work so I headed home to indulge in more coffee, peruse the net and I found myself a surprise. I stumbled across an article about a TV recall and thought ours was on that list. We have a 32" TV we bought about 2 years ago to replace the old monster of a set I'd had for about 15 years. The old set was still working when we brought the new one home so we stuck it in a corner of one of the bedrooms. Why we didn't just can it then I don't know. I guess we were guarding against the trend in televisions and other electronics made since the late 80's that are basically built to crap out, though they somehow manage to last just long enough to run out the warranty. Back in the day a television set was kind of a big deal purchase and if you found a good one you hung on to it until it blew up. When I bought the old set I didn't expect it to last as long as it did. I hated to move it. It was one of the picture tube models that had you reaching down to tuck your nuts in your socks after you had to pick it up and carry it somewhere. After biting the bullet to get satellite we decided to finally retire the beast and upgrade to something a tad bit newer. We bought it because the price was right and it definitely was an upgrade to the old set.
So here I am just piddling around online when I come across a recall article that mentions 32" Coby TVs. Cue the blue air,apparently the sets in the recall have shown a propensity to catch fire. Lovely, I've had this fucking thing in my house for two years with no trouble but did I have a sleeping monster in my living room? I grabbed my trusty penlight and tip-toed to the TV. Underneath the dust on the back I found both the serial number and model number on our set didn't match the ones mentioned in the recall. Yay for that. The thought of having to fiddle fart around with Fry's or stick a crowbar in my wallet to buy a replacement didn't exactly fill me with dread, though I surely wasn't skipping. The retailers who sold them are handling the recall replacements since company has gone out of business, big surprise there. One little sigh of relief here, though wisdom says keep our options open at this point. I guess I'll need to keep my crowbar handy.
Some other recalled stuff
I decided to include the list even though some of these have been around a while.
Due to the efficiency of my ENTs office I was in and out of there so fast I still had some time to kill before work so I headed home to indulge in more coffee, peruse the net and I found myself a surprise. I stumbled across an article about a TV recall and thought ours was on that list. We have a 32" TV we bought about 2 years ago to replace the old monster of a set I'd had for about 15 years. The old set was still working when we brought the new one home so we stuck it in a corner of one of the bedrooms. Why we didn't just can it then I don't know. I guess we were guarding against the trend in televisions and other electronics made since the late 80's that are basically built to crap out, though they somehow manage to last just long enough to run out the warranty. Back in the day a television set was kind of a big deal purchase and if you found a good one you hung on to it until it blew up. When I bought the old set I didn't expect it to last as long as it did. I hated to move it. It was one of the picture tube models that had you reaching down to tuck your nuts in your socks after you had to pick it up and carry it somewhere. After biting the bullet to get satellite we decided to finally retire the beast and upgrade to something a tad bit newer. We bought it because the price was right and it definitely was an upgrade to the old set.
So here I am just piddling around online when I come across a recall article that mentions 32" Coby TVs. Cue the blue air,apparently the sets in the recall have shown a propensity to catch fire. Lovely, I've had this fucking thing in my house for two years with no trouble but did I have a sleeping monster in my living room? I grabbed my trusty penlight and tip-toed to the TV. Underneath the dust on the back I found both the serial number and model number on our set didn't match the ones mentioned in the recall. Yay for that. The thought of having to fiddle fart around with Fry's or stick a crowbar in my wallet to buy a replacement didn't exactly fill me with dread, though I surely wasn't skipping. The retailers who sold them are handling the recall replacements since company has gone out of business, big surprise there. One little sigh of relief here, though wisdom says keep our options open at this point. I guess I'll need to keep my crowbar handy.
Some other recalled stuff
I decided to include the list even though some of these have been around a while.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Light show
Last night we were treated to another Arizona light show in the sky. The lightning here is amazing to watch. My wife and I stood outside next to the car port for a while last night taking in its splendor. The wind was whipping at us from the east, which means it came straight down our little driveway next to the trailer. The temp had dropped after another hot as hell day and the cool breeze felt really refreshing. Standing there, hair whipping around our faces just drinking it in, the slight smell of rain in the air; then wham!... eyeful of dust. Then the rain started, not a real rainstorm, it was that smattering of moisture that covers your car with a rash of little brown dust spots type of rain. Standing quietly in what passes for dark in the city hearing sounds akin to someone throwing handfuls of pebbles on your roof we were blessed with sideways rain spotting our faces with little cooling kisses. I‘ve noticed that horizontal rain seems to happen out here in the West a lot more often than I remember from back East.
We stood there facing into the wind, arms around each other talking about how different lightning acts here in Arizona compared to our hometowns in New England. Watching the lightning run across the bottom of a cloud then split off into 2, 3 or 5 strikes heading toward the ground is like happening upon an impromptu fireworks display, "Whoa did you see that one! Wow that was so cool, it was huge!" Faces turned to the sky we discussed the idea that there had to be a reason why the lightning here displays differently than it does back home. We decided that some science person could explain it but we really didn't care. We were there just to enjoy the show.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Football Indoors?
I scored
tickets to an Arena Football League game recently so my wife and I hopped the
Metro into the center of Phoenix to see the game. I had been to a few Rattlers
games before and since you’re essentially in a hockey rink the feel of being
closer to the action is an added bonus. We could tell the game was on TV due to
all the timeouts, though that time was always filled with rock and roll blaring
over the PA, crazy contests involving
the jumbo-tron or the cheerleaders throwing t-shirts into the stands. I noticed
it wasn’t a full house like the previous Rattlers games I’ve been to, which I
suspect had more to do with economics then the Rattlers popularity. The ticket
prices have surely gone up, then again what hasn’t gone up in price? No doubt
continuing national TV contracts have helped with visibility and furthering the
league’s popularity.
I became an
arena ball fan when I moved here the summer of ’94. The games were on one of
the local stations so I had an opportunity to get my football fix during those
blazing hot summer days with no football. The local team, the Arizona Rattlers
won the championship my first year in Phoenix and I was hooked on the AFL.
I remember
when tape delayed Arena League games started appearing on ESPN back in the late
80’s when they still needed to fill their 24 hour schedule and would televise
almost anything that even resembled a sport. Here we are over 25 years later and there is a
14 team league playing an 18 game schedule and there are games on TV almost every
weekend. Prior to the league reorganizing in 2009, the player’s offseason was
akin to the old days of the NFL before the huge salaries brought on by free
agency. After the season finished they
would go back to whatever their 9 to 5 offseason job was until training camp
rolled around again. Now many of the Arena League players don’t have to do that
because teams have a year round payroll.
Outside of
tickets prices generally costing less than the four major pro leagues I think another
aspect to the appeal comes from being so close to the action. Probably the
biggest draw has to do with the game itself. It is very fast paced and scoring
can get really high with all the passing going on; the AFL record for touchdown
passes in a season is 142 for example. You’ll see familiar names from NFL
rosters playing in the AFL; several players have made the jump to the NFL with
Kurt Warner the most recognizable.
I never
would have expected this odd idea of playing 8 man football indoors would catch
on like it did or have the resiliency to remain relevant in the sports world for
the last 25 years. This definitely is a game that is best experienced
firsthand. Take a chance and go see a game if your area has a team, you won’t
be disappointed.
Update: Our
local team, the Arizona Rattlers won their 3rd Arena Bowl in a row
on Saturday 72-32. Three championships in a row in any team sport is not easy to
do.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
On the Hood of a Pinto
I’ve been going through the collection of scribbles that I’ve
clung to despite my many moves over the past several decades. I didn’t realize how many unfinished stories I
had in various and sundry states. A paragraph or two here, a couple pages
there, some sentences that seem like they fit something else I found over
there. The other thing that surprised me in my treasure hunting was the number
of poems and songs I had on the most random bits of paper. Some of them had
dates and/or locations where and when I wrote them. One such notation read,”First
written on a half pint bag on the hood of a Pinto.” Guess I was lucky I had a pencil that
night. Looking over the songs and poems
their most common characteristic would be my trouble in deciphering my own
scrawl. It’s kind of bad when you can’t
even read your own handwriting. My wife
makes fun of me when I have to sign anything because I close my eyes and just move
the pen. I just don't like to watch when I sign my life away. I guess the time has come to clean my
glasses and get all those little ditties into digital format so if anyone wants
to read them they won’t have to ask me what this word is right here.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Simple
I saw the
news about another of the “70s icons of my youth passing on yesterday. I loved
The Rockford Files with James Garner and watched it in reruns when it was still
showing up in syndication. I think the
celebrities from my youth whether TV, sports or music still have a special
place in memory because they remind me of a time when life seemed simpler, when
we both were young and vibrant. After some of the things I done and seen I’m
glad to still be vibrating. Of course maybe because I didn’t know shit back
then and the stuff that I thought was important really wasn’t all that
important and that is what made life seem simpler. Simpler isn’t about easier
it’s just about less moving parts to get in the way or lose sight of. Being
happy is pretty simple. Just be happy. Not a lot of parts to that and it took
some work to see it in those terms. Truth in essence is pretty plain and simple
it’s either true or not. The boxes or limitations we try to put on the people,
things and conditions around us are what create grey areas. You know what I’m
talking about, those grey areas that are created when you over think something
and it messes with your harmony. Sometimes that can be a good thing for me
because I find that I need to take a minute and look at some thing from another
point of view. The other side to that is sometimes I have to make a stance for
my Truth, how I live in the center of my being where Life really is simple when I pay attention. Not
an easy thing to do some days, on other days it’s as simple as changing a
thought. I’ve had a lot of practice with that and I still need to keep
practicing because though I may be a bit older now I still don’t know shit but
I’m working on it.
That Day
Yesterday was one of those days where I work on something to write spending time creating, rewriting and editing then get to the end and think , "this sucks". What to do? Put it aside for another day then go back and look it over to see if maybe there is something to salvage. Took a look from a different point of view or add something that is missing. No doubt others that feel the need to put pen to paper have experienced this as well. Some days I've found are better spent in further researching or cultivating ideas when the work just doesn't meet my standards. I've always been my harshest critic which is probably why virtually everything I've written over the years has remained in a collection of beat up notebooks and scribbled bits on random pages torn from journals. The old journals I've since burned or shredded with the idea in mind that I've moved past that and on to something new. The things I worked through on paper I carry with me wherever I go. I don't keep my old math tests why would these be any different? Every day is new. Life is about constant renewal. What's new today?
Saturday, July 19, 2014
The Dew Drop Inn
The endangered species list isn't limited to animals,
birds, and fish. One of the disappearing icons of small town America is the
roadside diner. Many have been razed to be replaced by kitschy themed strip
malls and cookie-cutter burger doodle joints. More than one whistle stop town,
crisscrossed by winding two lane highways had a Silver Dollar, a Mom's, or a
Dew Drop Inn, the namesake of my personal favorite from my home town locale. Today, it
no longer exists. The result of the inevitable creep of decay caused by time
and the gluttony of progress lead to it being demolished to be replaced by a snazzy
new bistro. I’m sure it's thoroughly missed by those lucky enough to have experienced
its quirky confines during its long lifetime.
The cavernous potholes in the parking lot gave a clue to
its age and popularity. Paint-starved siding waited patiently for its next coat
of paint, while a rusted sign, its weathered letters nearly worn off, stood
solemnly guarding the door. A small iron bell cheerily announced your entrance,
as the fingerprint blackened door banged shut behind you.
In front of you, faded red vinyl and chrome stools stood
half-cocked at attention. They encircled an ancient counter. The innumerable
dishes and utensils dragged across it had scratched and dulled its once bright
surface. In front of each stool the pattern on the counter had been worn off by
the multitude of arms and hands rested there grasping nickel cups of coffee.
A sleepy-eyed, rumpled, middle-aged woman with a pleasant smile and thin mousy gray hair sat behind the cash register. The stool where she perched sighed
when relieved of her weight as she rose to show you to your table.
The unevenly sloped floor created the sense of falling as you walked into the dining
room. The low ceiling, the sparse old style fluorescent lights, and the trip
across that crazily slanted floor solidified your sense of The Dew Drop's earthy
charm.
The seating was stiff, un-padded wooden benches, worn slick as
oil by the dozens of rumps rubbed across their surface, making it difficult
to sit back without sliding under the table. The padded seats were on the two tops!
Once you were seated the atmosphere assaulted your senses. A cacophony of
clanging pots, and clinking dishes, occasionally interrupted by a loud thump,
leaked from the kitchen. The aroma coming from that kitchen was a welcome invasion to your
nose; the signal that you had indeed made a good choice.
Simply prepared food on heavy china was brought steaming to
your table. Real steam from fresh hot food, not microwaved frozen crap. The inn usually
had only two waitresses in the dining room unless it was a real busy day. If
you didn't look close they were hard to tell apart. They both wore their dark
graying hair piled on their heads, overfilled their uniforms a bit, and carried
a warm and friendly smile. The only definite way to tell them apart were the
glasses one wore. Usually they were perched precariously on her head and
no doubt bets were placed on when they would fall to the floor.
If you judged the Dew Drop Inn on appearance alone you
would miss out on the best part: the food. The dining room was always packed on
weekends and with good reason. Fresh, soft melt-in-your-mouth dinner rolls came
warm to your table first, followed by a hot meal that looked like it had been
prepared at home. Pork chops, Delmonico steak or a
half pound beef steak patty were the usual dinner meat items, all well prepared
and simply presented and they tasted even better. The main reason to clean your
plate was what came after: homemade pies. Apple, lemon meringue, and the house
specialty coconut cream were all served as a generous slab that nearly
overflowed the plate it was on. I often wanted another slice though I very
rarely got one.
The Dew Drop Inn wasn't fancy, hip, slick, or cool, but the
cozy, cramped atmosphere, the tasty simple food, and its rustic historic feel made
it a great place for an afternoon pit stop. I still look for places like that
when I travel, and though they may be more difficult to come by in our new
world I’ve still been lucky on more than one occasion to find a similar member on this endangered species list. Not all of them are gems
like this one. To me this little slice of heaven was a pearl of great pleasure.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Rock n Roll Remembers
I read on the book of Face that Johnny Winter passed on today in Switzerland. I watched some of the videos that were posted in remembrance of him and it got me to thinking about how lucky I was to grow up during the time that I did. I saw The Beatles first appearance on the Ed Sullivan show and rocked out to Don Kirshner's Rock Concert on Friday nights and the King Biscuit Flour Hour on FM radio on Sundays. Along the way I was fortunate enough to hear some of those iconic bands live and in person, though for most of those shows I know I was at there is no way I could begin to tell you the set list. Every time I scraped a few dollars together I was adding to me record collection, which got to be very large. It is all gone now, lost along the way for various and sundry reasons. I've replaced a decent chunk of it with CDs and though the music is the same vinyl just felt more permanent. It has been making a bit of a comeback, which didn't seem possible at one point. I still find newer artists that have come along in recent years that I really like, though if I'm just chillin' either gaming, reading or writing the old sounds just suit me more. Rest in peace Johnny and thanks for being a part of the best era in music.
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