I experienced
a pleasant surprise while gazing into the wonders that exist within the vending
machine at work. The kid that rattles around inside me on a daily basis spotted
Zoo Animal Crackers, and since I was lucky enough to have a single in my pocket I had
to indulge. I hot stepped it back to my
desk, awash in the feeling I’d almost found a misplaced treasure from my youth.
It was similar to catching a big frog in the creek near my house when I was 9;
it just kind of made my day.
I went back to
my desk and announced to my aisle mates they had animal crackers in the vending
machine, well not ACTUAL animal crackers, just the knock off replacement of the
original. My announcement was met with a
hearty exchange of our memories of the originals in their little circus wagon
box. We all agreed the frosted ones in the big bags from the grocery didn't really
cut it as true animal crackers, though they sufficed in a pinch. I set the bag
aside to nibble at while I was finishing my usual end of day task list. My crest fell a bit when I realized these
were a bit crunchier than I remembered the texture of the originals. I made an executive decision I kept to myself;
I was going on a hunt to find a box of the originals.
Fast forward
to the weekend and it’s grocery shopping day. As the Mrs. and I wound our way
through the aisles grabbing everything on our list along with a few , “Hey we
need this too” items thrown in for good
measure, we passed the cookie aisle. I took off running, searching high and low
for my prize; there it was in all its old time splendor, right down to the
silly little string to carry them with. along with an added bonus right on the front -
A good source of Calcium. I snatched a box from the shelf and hustled back to
my wife waiting patiently, a puzzled look on her pretty face. All smiles I
dropped my treasure in the cart.
She looked at me with a half-smile; her eyes
posed the question before she asked,
“What is it with you and animal crackers lately? You brought
a bag home (yep, I bought another one), and now you ‘re getting more?”
“After getting the
first bag of the fake ones I had to get a box of the old originals.”
“Honey, I love you, but sometimes you’re just odd.”
“You say that like it’s a newsflash.”
I received a head
shake paired a giggle, topped off with a peck on the cheek, after which we paid for our
groceries and headed home.
A little later
that day while we were watching something on the DVR I decided to enjoy the culmination
of my mini quest. I was a bit disappointed. I probably expected too much, the
texture of this new version of my old favorite seemed to be a little crunchier
than the old standby. I seemed to remember the crackers having more of a graham
cracker like texture; soft with a little bit of a crunch, the kind that melted
in your mouth and stuck to your teeth. I figured they may have been stale since
they probably only sell about 10 boxes a year at $3.29 a pop.
I looked for
an expiration date to no avail. Not a good sign there. The newer ones didn't have
one either, though I imagine that is probably only on the big box the little ones
come in. The ingredients listed on the packages were essentially the same:
mostly enriched flour that is enriched by vitamin tablets the size of shuffleboard
disks to fill back in all the stuff that came out of the wheat during
processing. The rest is pretty much sugar, salt, soy and whey, which I‘m sure would
make Miss Muffett happy. One ingredient really caught my eye: calcium
carbonate, which is used in everything from baby diapers to blackboard chalk, also
as an additive to oil drilling fluid and to help purify iron in a blast furnace
and finally antacids. Now that’s a hell of a resume, the Swiss Army knife of
chemical additives.
Granted, I don’t for a minute expect animal crackers to be
part of a balanced diet, though it sure was fun to revisit an old favorite. I make it point,sometimes to the world's chagrin, to take time to listen
to reminders from the kid in me there is always wonder in this world, sometimes in the strangest of places.
