Mr. B's Request AKA The ...

Yummy Christmas thing you make.

Prep time

This creation and I first crossed paths at a small office Christmas party back in the late '80s. After I took my first bite I knew I had to wrangle the recipe out of the person who brought it. I've seen similar cakes since but they are all constructed differently than this one. I've made this for office several of the Christmas parties I`ve attended and it always disappeared quickly.  


The person I got the recipe from didn't tell me a whole lot of what went into making this other than the ingredients of which there are but a few. The important part I learned early on entails the construction, which is my reason for sharing it here. The other is a request from a former co-worker and friend. He asked me to make it the last Christmas we worked together. I was in no shape to pull it off then and I didn't get it done.


Over the years I've learned through much experimentation what really worked well for me when making this. Those experiments culminate here.  




You'll need:

1.   1 Small electric hand mixer or an arm that won't get too tired

2.  2 mixing bowls - One must fit inside the other

3.  1 to 2 trays of ice cubes - the really cold brand, warm flavored ice cubes just don`t get it done.

4.  2    1/2 pints heavy or whipping cream (your choice) it works with either.  The size of  the cake matters too. One half pint is usually more than enough if you use just one deck. Don`t be surprised at the amount of whipped topping left.  You can be surprised because sometimes more is just plain good. Nekkid works but that thought belongs at another venue. 

5.  1 Box Honey Grahams  Graham crackers - Full size. Get the real ones, its worth 1 to  2 bucks more for a better result. The store brands or the other national brands are too hard to make this work correctly since they don't wick well enough. No I`m not endorsing Honey Grahams.

6.  1 16-18 oz. jar preserves - Dumping the preserves in a small bowl makes them easier to dish out. I've found that preserves work the best. I'm partial to strawberry, but raspberry works well too. Jam is too loose, jelly just doesn't cut it. I`ve yet to try making my own preserve type filling. If you have a grandma that makes her own jams and preserves hit her up.

7.  To flavor the whip : Add 1 - 2 tsp sugar or a dash of 2 vanilla  or your favorite flavor extract, peppermint,spearmint, etc. This is to give the whip a little flavor since it's blah just plain.


8.  A rectangle of cardboard about the same size (actually  a little smaller) as a cookie sheet or a pizza pan .This will be used as your work surface after you cover it with wax paper or parchment paper. 


9. 2  Flexible spatulas for spreading - one only for whip, one only for preserves

     9a.  This list consists of ingredients,  4 to 6, all the others (1-3, 7-10) are my tools to build this vacation cake getaway. 

10.  Read to the end  first





Make sure you have enough room to spread out and gather all your ingredients. Dump at least 1 tray of ice into the big mixing bowl then set the next size bowl inside it and set the nested bowls aside. I usually let them sit until the cubes sweat. That takes 10-15 minutes depending on the temp of your work space or put the bowls together than popping them in the fridge works if you have to speed create.  

Whip the cream until the top comes to stiff points

Now it's time to rock and roll. No rocks were harmed n the creation of this recipe. 

I put a dab of whip on the surface your are using to make your cake on. This  should be the length of the cracker and at least 2" wide to acommodate the edge of the long side.This helps stabilize the first few layers and if done rather quickly will help the rest of your build.  A practice run won`t hurt. : )

NOTE:

*****The next part you'll have to work rather quickly with no breaks unless you can tag out to a helper if you have one since the whip starts to collapse as it warms up. *****

Butter your crackers with the preserves, then lay some of the whip over top of the that and lay it down on the skinny edge of the long side. The first 2 or 3 pieces can be a little messy to get standing up. Have a bowl of water or a roll of paper towels handy. Just keep building out from there until you  get to the size you imagined your finished cake would be. One deck of crackers makes a cake about the size of the graham cracker box or a little longer depending how thick your layers are. (A practice cracker is worth a shot, because you may need a snack before you finish) : )



To finish: Any leftover preserves I`ll spread over the top to fill in any gaps. Then cover that with the remaining whip which should be more than enough to cover the top and sides.

Decorate the finished cake. Using jimmies or sparkly sugar gives a nice effect when it melts in the whip. Anything really as long as its not too heavy, so no bowling balls.

Cover and leave in the refrigerator overnight. Its great with breakfast or for breakfast. We are talking decadence incarnate here. Serves 1 because you'll want to eat the whole thing.

What makes this a nice cake for a party is the way you slice it and the reason for its manner of creation. Cut your slices at a 45 degree angle to see all the layers. The reason will be apparent after that one person who always wants the corner piece gets theirs.

I have one request; I`ve never made this for someone on a special diet so I wonder if  anyone does tried to make this using ingredients that were ok for someone with diabetes or lactose intolerant or any other special diet I would love to know your results.  Comment here since comments are open on all devices.
My hope for you is that this will be a hit at your holiday party and gives you more joy than I`ve had making it and sharing this with you.

   I don`t remember making one this pretty though it is something to shoot for.

The Best Christmas Ever

 Now that the seasonal excitement is winding down, I would say to continue the theme that started when this holiday season rolled around and calling this the best Christmas ever is definitely a no-brainer. The road traveled internally since February with the uncertainty of that time and whether I`d be around here for Christmas makes me stop and think.  Here I sit staring a new year in the face as it waits in the wings a few days away. To be able to sit here putting these words to paper gives me pause to recognize how that makes me a very lucky and grateful man. So much has transpired since the early part of this year.

The fact my wife and I were able to celebrate Christmas this year on Christmas Day added to the special nature of this holiday season. She was able to get out a little early on Christmas Eve so our weekend started ahead of schedule. We talked till the wee hours of the morning that night and when one works 2nd shift that is a somewhat common occurrence though we both managed to stay awake past our typical crash time. 

  Christmas started a three days early for me this year with three phone conversations and an email from four individuals instrumental in keeping my spirits up in their own way throughout this year.  Each individual at different times and in their own unique way gave me such a boost of Spirit I can't put it into words. I will do my best to carry on and carry forward and pass on what they each have given me. We communicated by text, email and phone and the one in person visitor of those four won't see this because he doesn't really do the Interwebs. 

The relationships were created in their own unique ways, two were old friends and two were new this year. One was someone I met through a common connection whose support and good thoughts, whether by phone or email, have been a huge part of helping me navigate through the ups and downs of 2016. The other new friend resulted from a comment online and lead to much laughter and support that I still don't think he really knows how much he helped me this year. We haven`t talked by phone yet. The other two were my oldest friends calendar wise that are still above ground. One managed to make a stop at the house on a quick turnaround trip to Arizona back in the summer; we hadn't seen each other in several years. The best news from him is he will be out here again in January and we'll be able to sit and break bread. The last was my longest time old friend that is bar none  the best wrench I have ever known. I haven't seen him in over a dozen years though we do talk at least 2 to 3 times a month. These four reminded me of a few old friends that are not with us anymore and I think of those folks often, especially at this time of year. 

Christmas day I awoke and told my wife  "I felt better than I have in close to 2 years and for sure a year and a half at least. Not better in the sense I'm going to run outside and paint the house though it needs it. It is different and better than just a body feeling it is a Soul feeling. I still get worn out too fast to suit my taste, most tasks take two to three times longer to complete and I'm not always steady afoot though little improvements in regard to any of those instances are most notable. I do take the time to recognize and celebrate them. 

One goal reached another standing by and a third will be here soon.

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The New Year is almost upon us and I plan on making a few resolutions but those are for another edition of The Hole in the Paper.

I hope everyone's Christmas was as merry as mine.

Have a safe, happy and prosperous New Year.

The Best Thanksgiving Ever

   

    To say this Thanksgiving was the best one ever wouldn't be an overstatement at all. When I was faced with a diagnosis of cancer as a late birthday present in February I knew I was in for the fight of my Life. This was much more than a drunken brawl at a bar or a party over something that in all reality was always just an example of stupid shit that many of us are guilty of in our younger years. When it came to thinking about the possibility that I would not be here for Thanksgiving let alone Christmas that was something I couldn't allow myself to do. Forget about talking about it either because the idea of having that conversation felt akin to giving in and I refused to do that.

     We had an awesome Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday made with love by my amazing wife. We have both worked in call centers since the turn of this century and anyone else out there who works in one of those salt mines of the city knows it is very rare to get a holiday off. We have become accustomed to the practice of Thanksgiving on the weekend that follows it, which ends up being a nice way to start the holiday season with a running start. I devoured my whole plate before she finished hers, which happens rarely even though my portions are still small compared to my pre-diagnosis meals.

     When we called Mom and Dad after dinner we got the conversation started about why this was the best Thanksgiving ever and talked about the ones to come and it felt really good to do that.  Later my wife and I continued the conversation after that door opened.

     I could only imagine what went through her mind on a daily basis at the beginning of this battle and hearing from her what it was like then was enlightening and further hardened the cement in the conviction that I am so thoroughly loved. I told her back when we first decided to be together that she can tell me she loves me all she wants though I'd rather have her show me. She has never disappointed in that regard. She still shows me every day and it's been vital for me in this past year and still is.

     My thinking at the the beginning of this challenging year was foggy at best from the pain, drugs or being carted from one doctor or test to another that was happening on any singular day. I do know I wondered how my girl was doing and I 'd ask. And she, in her own similar to my "do it myself" fashion said she was fine and wouldn't let on what was going on for her. The clarity I have now versus the lack of recall I have for much of those first couple months makes me grateful.

     Our after dinner conversation evolved into how thankful we both were for having this holiday together and about the ones we have yet to come.  Just being able to share this holiday together made it the best Thanksgiving ever. As I finished that sentence a thought came to me in the form of a question.

     Isn't every holiday the best one of its kind ever if you get to celebrate it with those you love and who love you?

     My holiday wish for each and every one of you is that the answer to that question is a resounding yes.
 

                                                              HAPPY HOLIDAYS

From the Vault: One for Father's Day

Connecticut Defense Council Auxiliary Police ID, probably WWII era

(I found this among some of the things I had written and though it has been out there on the web previously I felt it needed a little edit. So I fixed the writing faux pas’, added a little and thought it was worth re-posting in honor of Father’s Day)

Yesterday, April 5^th, was my dad's birthday, he would have been 107. I've wondered more than a few times what he would have thought of the changes the world's been through in the 40+ years since he passed and the discussions we would have had about them. I’m sure his analytical mind would love the idea of the Internet but the endless posts about where I’m eating a sandwich or the myriads of bathroom selfies would be lost on such a private person as he. I bet he sure would love the animal videos though.

He left home at 14 and hooked on at a number of shipyards up and down the east coast. I still have a piece of paper written in his spare efficient block printing of his "resume', which is just a list of the places and the hourly rates he worked for from 1922 onward. 

He used to tell a story of living in New York during those years. He lived in a 3rd floor walk-up and to help pay his room and board he made horseradish for the landlord. His telling of the story of having to stand by the window and having to grate this gnarly root by hand never failed to produce a laugh from those in attendance. He always told this story with a bit of a grin, as he knew that good times and bad times often overlap and the differences weren’t always discernible in the moment. Onions apparently have nothing on grating fresh horseradish when it comes to making tears. He said you couldn't wipe your eyes because that made it worse, so he'd have to stop periodically to throw water on his face. Sometimes he'd shred his fingers instead of the root and be just a total mess with tears running down his face and bloody fingers that stung like hell from the horseradish  juices. Needless to say he found other accommodations quickly.

He managed to keep working pretty much all through the Depression, which was an uncommon feat in those days. I worked for a while at the same place he and my Mom met and it was also the last job he had right up until he passed. I heard a few good stories about him from some of the guys that were still around from the time he worked there. 

The guys in the shop gave him the nickname “The Gray Ghost” because he had an uncanny knack for walking around the corner just as a group of guys would decide it was goof off time for a few minutes. They said he was a good boss and always fair, though you didn't fuck with him or any of his crew. One day a guy from another department was giving one of his crew a real hard time and preventing him from getting his job done in their mutual work area. When my Dad went down to find out what was going on the guy got pushy and mouthy. One punch later he was on his back, lights out. I still grin when I picture Jonesy telling me that story just shaking his head with his big bugged out eyes, his battered hard hat reversed on his head. "Nope, no sir no one fucked with the guys on Bill Mark's crew ". He was also not without his moments. One day he happened upon Little Charlie B_____ hammering away at something on a workbench, his hand choked up on the handle near the head of the hammer. Dad stopped and said to Charlie, “Don’t you know how to swing a hammer by now, doing it that way will take forever. Give me that.” My Dad took the hammer, gripping it at the end of the handle like one should and took a swing with it. The hammer head flew back over his shoulder and skidded under another bench about 10’ away. My Dad’s face got beet red, he turned to Charlie and handed him the empty handle and told him it was time get a new hammer then walked out of the shop. Hilarity ensued among the witnesses though it took Charlie a couple of minutes to stop shaking.

I wonder sometimes what my Dad would think of the pussification of America, where you can't tell someone, "You're an idiot for doing that" but it's okay to be rude as hell to someone you've asked for help in a customer service position. He always had a good word for the waitress or the checkout person. He always took our cars to the same mechanic, even though he could fix them; he used to say, "Those guys need to make a buck too." I feel fortunate to have put my wrenching days behind me since I found a good honest mechanic too.

The house I grew up in was the first stick built house he'd ever owned. He had always lived in apartments or trailer homes. That house was a bit of a fixer upper and he put a lot of time into improvements after we moved in. I remember him wrestling big rocks out of the ground with a long pry bar on the hilltop in our backyard. Then he'd roll them down the hill where he would split them with a hammer and chisel to add to the stone wall he built to keep the back hill from washing on to the red brick patio he laid. He had most of it done but never was able to finish the wall before he passed. 

He didn't know a lot about playing sports, though he did play golf and do some caddying for a while when he was younger; well before golf became more mainstream. I guess he gave up golf and pipe smoking when he married my Mom. He coached my little league team when I was 12. We spent a lot of time practicing my pitching in the driveway. His shins were always black and blue that summer due to bouncing balls that hit the dirt from what passed as my fastball in those days. We got to share the first ever season of Monday Night Football, though I never got to see the end of games since they ended at midnight on the East Coast. He would stay up to watch the end and leave me the scoring that happened after I went to bed written on small piece of paper on the kitchen table.

                                                             

                                                        Family Friend's backyard 1960's.

My uncle used to tell me frequently that he was the smartest man he had ever known, they did a lot of projects together at my uncles house. He also told me after Dad’s funeral that he'd never seen so many people at a funeral before. Dad's was the first funeral I ever attended and for years after it didn't matter who passed I refused to go. I remember sitting next to my Mom and shook so many sweaty dead fish-like hands that to this day I always look sideways at anyone who shakes my hand that way. That experience really threw up a lot of walls in my young mind and I never wanted to attend another funeral; that attitude changed as I got older, though that is a story for another day.

He left me a tough legacy to follow to be respected by so many. I wonder sometimes what he'd think about what I've done with my life, both the successes and failures and the hope I'd done well in his eyes just to keep on keepin' on. Like most things I write I don't know where this came from, I guess I just fell through the hole in the paper.

Thank you for taking the time to (re)read this and to all the Dads out there, Happy Father’s Day.

Tag, You're In and the Floppy Socks are Out

     When the New Year rolls around, as it just did, conversation often turns to the question of New Year’s resolutions. What New Year’s resolutions are you making and how long do you think you will stick to them?  The idea, in essence, makes a lot of sense; we just passed through a time of introspection and reflection on the year that was, as Christmas and whatever holiday you celebrate blew in through your front door and out the back. Then again maybe not, everyone celebrates the holidays in their own way and some folks are just happy to see the previous year in the rear view mirror as we look to a fresh start.

     New Year’s resolutions have been around since ancient times and are recorded as far back as the Babylonians and the Romans. The Romans moved the practice from March back to January, apparently as an offering to the God Janus, where we get the name for the month of January.  This god had two heads looking in opposite directions, one looking at the year ahead, the other head peering back at the year behind.  No doubt Saturday nights in the land of the gods must have been difficult; when you have two heads wanting to go in opposite directions deciding which party they were going to run off to probably ended in a tug of war. As you can see in the pic above he has his party jug at hand. I bet he walked sideways a lot.

     The beginning of a new year is similar to the experience of driving a stretch through a winding road only to finally come around a blind curve that opens into a long straightway. That straight stretch of road appears to have no end as it touches the horizon in the distance, though we know perception lies a lot and that straightaway may contain a dip we don’t see and a turn or three as we keep on truckin’. Maybe that’s where New Year’s resolutions come in to the picture; either way we get to see where the road leads.

     As we drive, those resolutions can become navigational aids or convenient clubs left by the side of the road to pick up and beat ourselves over the head with when we feel the need. The old standby resolutions such as eating better, losing weight, getting more exercise, quitting smoking or drinking have the potential to lend themselves to frequent stops to grab a club. From this seat I see those as year round sort of resolutions; whether it’s January, May or October I can always start my year over.  I kind of consider offering the old standbys as my New Year’s resolutions as being kind of lazy on my part; most of those pop up all year long for me anyway, so I know I am and will continue to be a work in progress.

      My resolutions tend to be a little outside the norm and I fully claim the right to make new ones at any time of the year. Last year in March I had to make a late resolution to not wear my shirt to work inside out. Apparently I threw on my polo shirt inside out one morning and didn’t notice until someone asked me why I had a tag on the outside of my shirt halfway through the day. I didn't bother switching it around at that point, why argue with success?

   A brief side rant here: Why do we call polo shirts polo shirts? I remember when these types of shirts started showing up everywhere during the 80’s we called them golf shirts, because golfers seemed to be the only ones wearing them.  There is a lot more people that play golf anyway. Who the hell knows anyone that plays polo?  Seriously, full contact croquet on horseback with a soccer goal and we name a shirt for that?  No, nah, nah, nah no, false. Okay, end rant now where was I? Ah, resolutions for a new year and the right to change them, or not.

     I’ve decided to keep the not wearing my shirt inside out to work resolution, and will apply that to all apparel with tags, though my wife and I disagree on one item. I say underwear doesn’t count because no one sees it, she disagrees; the eternal debate rolls on.

     Another resolution I am going to stick with this year is to try some type of food I have never eaten. A few months ago I ate guacamole for the first time. To me it is the most disgusting looking stuff; I thought it looked more like lizard puree than something edible. As far as I’m concerned it still is horrible looking stuff, though now I can say it tastes good. Live and learn I guess, though I do reserve the right to not eat cottage cheese again. Ever.

    Another resolution I’ve made for this year is a kind of two in one. I decided at least a couple times a month to wear different colored socks to work. That idea will test my creativity with a collection of socks that are either black, grey, or brown, which leads to part two. I resolve to purge my sock drawer of all my Pete Maravich socks. You know the ones I’m talking about; the ones with the elastic that is shot so they just puddle around your ankles. Hmm, I guess there is a part three here too. I suppose I’ll also have to rid my sock drawer of all the socks I’ve sharpened my toenails on for so long I can read the newspaper through the toe.

   I resolve to make more lists this year to give myself a visual reminder to not forget to do the stuff I keep forgetting to do. I think I will do them in pencil, because those trusty old pencils need some love too. I think I have a sharpener stashed in my office supplies box, its probably hidden under the box of staples I bought 5 years ago. This list idea is done under the guise of having my office be more organized. Now if I can keep the top of my desk a little more clutter free I might be able to find said list. 

     My resolution for this weekend is to put all the Christmas stuff back in the shed and fill the recycle bin with the boxes left over from Christmas shipping. The cats will lose their playhouse, though they have more than enough toys around here to keep them amused; especially the hair ties from the two-legged in the house.

     My wish for your New Year is one of good health and much success. Hopefully you will all find the time to find a good spot to watch the sun rise or set, take in the glow of a full moon with someone you care about, find some flowers to get a good whiff of and just basically  be happy. I say this to you and also to myself. We have a new year to mold, enjoy it and fill with new memories. Here's to making it a good one.

     

The Year of the Pen

    Each year as the end of the year rolls around there are numerous lists of the 10 best, worst, funniest, saddest, and whatever other name can be slapped on a list of 10 somethings during the year. I like checking out some of those little "year in review" lists; they become snapshots to remind me what went on during the year while I was busy being busy. Relax my friends, this is not going to be one of those lists. Well, then again no promises, I’m just going to follow this missive to the end.

   I spent a bit of time thinking about this past year and the new one hurtling at us. Not surprisingly I decided I wanted to get some thoughts down on paper, though I didn’t want to make just another "year in review" list type of thing; several someones have been gracious enough to do that for me already.  The end of the year easily lends itself to look back at what was; whether with fondness, or a tear, a grumble, or a guffaw, we all have things to be grateful and thankful for.  The New Year is always a bright shiny box we have to wait to open until January 1^st. We open that wondrous mystery with the hope that within there will be bigger and better, new and exciting happenings;ever hopeful it includes untapped wells of quiet strength and boundless faith tucked in the corners to carry us through till we say goodbye to the year that was at its conclusion.  

     The year 2014 was another typical atypical year; it had 365 days like any non-leap year, the sun rose up in the morning and dropped below the horizon at night. During those days strung end to end there were many moments for us to stop and take notice that it was a great year, mainly because we’re still above ground at the end of it. Not everyone was so lucky. Some of us lost someone close to us, or at least near the sphere of our day-to-day; their absence most notable during those moments we know they would have enjoyed too. Others we will miss from afar because there are no new offerings to make us laugh, the sound behind the music that carries us on epic road trips is silent, or the eloquent words on paper we use to whittle away a cold rainy day have come to the end of that life's book. Many of us have added to our families, whether by an exchange of rings, bundles of joy with tiny little fingers and tiny little toes, or made some new friends to add the family that’s not related by blood.

     This has been a year of change for me, the biggest of which you are a part of now by reading this. Starting this blog and keeping it going has been a big step for me and an ongoing one at that; finding my voice and keeping my ear tuned to the world around me has been a lot of fun. I’ve written for years, since I was a kid really, though more in earnest after I started keeping a journal in the 70’s, and I’ve never really shared those words on paper with more than a handful of folks.  Now a day doesn’t feel complete unless I’ve written something, even if it’s just a book review or two on Amazon.

     I really want to express a big Thank You and attempt to convey how grateful I am to those of you who take the time to read the musings, rants and silly stories that flow from the ends of these fingers. If i had to give 2014 a name it would be the Year of the Pen, and now I face 2015 with a blank piece of paper and my trusty pen with the hope that I never really find the bottom of the hole in the paper. Thank you for stopping by.

                                                  *** Happy New Year! ****

. 

It's a Brown Christmas Charlie

Christmas lights on palm trees, a very Arizona Christmas.

    Winter time in many locales is usually infused with brown as the primary color in the surrounding scenery; trees are hanging out naked, the last few leaves to jump from their limbs huddle at the base patiently waiting for the first leaf blower of spring. Your lawn takes on the color of the walls of your first low budget apartment, producing the sound of walking on a bed of corn flakes in your daily trek to investigate the postman’s offerings of more flyers and promises to save you money on your car insurance.

     Of course you could be lucky enough to have Santa deliver a blanket of snow for the holiday season, no doubt your opinion of the word luck determined by how thick that blanket is and whether or not the snow blower has enough gas on hand to allow you to make it possible to see the driveway again before spring time.  Of course, not everything is a dull shade of brown or dusty white, if there are evergreens populating your home turf. There is nothing quite like snow on evergreens, unless you happen to be standing beneath one when gravity decides it is time to free itself from its winter coat. 

                                                      

   Winter, no matter where you live brings to mind images of warm socks, thermal duds, and sitting in front of a crackling fireplace sipping something hot, either toddies or cocoa, whichever way your pleasure tends. We actually do that in Arizona, winter is winter, and desert cold is cold even if you think 50 is not. My friends from back East laugh at me when I tell them it’s cold here. I've realized cold is a relative term.  If you live in a place where the summer high is in the neighborhood of 85-90, and you drop the temperature 65-70 degrees, that’s kind of cold; not the “It’s so cold I’m going to die and it feels like there’s a porcupine in my nose’ type of cold. It’s just cold period. In this part of Arizona the summer highs typically get to 110-115 and if you drop the temp here 65-70 degrees that is going to feel cold.  That’s winter just being winter.

    Winter also brings thoughts of the holiday season to come; the snap in the morning air becomes a bit snappier after the goblins disappear from our sidewalks and plans turn to important things, like who can’t sit next to each other at Thanksgiving dinner.  By the time the last of the leftovers have finally disappeared from the fridge, Christmas decorations have been dragged from the attic or shed and begun to make appearances in our environs, including the dreaded strands of Christmas lights.

                                            Simple elegance.

                                                             

                        Shrek the Halls, or the front yard

                                                          

     In backyards and garages, on porches and patios everywhere, innocent Christmas lights become victims of a stream of vitriol usually reserved for the driver that hurries to get in front of you so he can go slow. This is done no doubt in the expectation that swearing at that rats nest of lights will magically cause them to untangle themselves before they swath the house in Christmas cheer for the coming weeks. Have no fear, those sturdy strands of blinking beauty can handle a few cuss words; all they want to do is show off and they do it oh so well.

             
                My first ever sighting of a reindeer with a parachute.

A cul-de-sac offering

      In Arizona, where brown is virtually a year round color scheme, the fall and winter months are when we start to see color, especially around Christmas time. Christmas lights are much more prevalent here than what I remember from the cold Northeast.  I've decided it has to be because it’s much more comfortable putting up lights when its 55 degrees outside as opposed to 25; no doubt when you’re hands aren't stiff with cold it’s a tad bit easier to really go all out. This is a sprawling city, filled with neighborhoods often built like a giant cul-de-sac, each containing a several smaller ones within their borders. It is apparent the residents of that cul-de-sac either get together to simply entertain or try to outdo the others in their semi-circle in the city. The light displays are impressive, whether they are simple and whimsical or garish and garbled, they have an inherent ability to bring out the season. Seeing Christmas lights wrapped around a palm will always make me giggle; I guess I‘m just an old Yankee and still associate Christmas lights with evergreens not desert plant life. I make a point to look for someone both brave and foolish enough to put Christmas lights on a cactus; it’s not impossible though removal time must be fraught with prickly consequences.

The group of lights in the back are in a tree that's tough to see in the pic. It looks like someone stood on the roof and threw them into the tree. 

The main drag in Gilbert, Arizona

   My wife and I enjoy looking at Christmas lights and finally decided to take some pictures this year, which are included here. We had a lot of fun driving around looking for interesting displays; the time just melted away.  We made a special trek to see if the little farm we were married at was lit up for the hoiliday; alas there we no lights lit at our special place.  As we gazed out the windows on our trek homeward what to our wondering eyes did appear, but a dune buggy lit up with Christmas cheer. A hasty pursuit culminated in a parking lot filled with more buggies lit to celebrate the season, some in the process of being loaded for home.  We interrupted a couple and their teenage son as they were beginning the process of loading their buggy on a trailer. They were both gracious enough to stop and talk to us for a few minutes. 

                                          
                                     Just a few of the buggy light parade.

   The wife told us that the group started about 7 years ago with just a handful of folks getting together to decorate their buggies and ride around town. Over the past several years it has grown to the point where 60 buggies joined in for this year’s night time light parade. We stopped to grab a few pics. It was a really neat way to end our Christmas light trek through the city.

   I've lived out here in the desert the past 20 years and Christmas still manages to sneak up on me, probably due to the fact snow is never in the forecast during this time of year. Seeing Christmas lights adorning houses, lampposts and palm trees is usually what it takes to get me in the Christmas spirit; Christmas lights on palm trees will never cease to make me smile.  This year seemed to fly by, don’t they all the older you get, this year I decided to put some thoughts of the season down on paper, or at least something approaching paper. My wish for you all is your Christmas was the merriest of all and the New Year brings success, love, good health and happiness.

                                                             

                            

                       

                   
    This was the find of the night with video below as a perfect compliment.

     

     I saved this for last. Turn the sound up on the video. We had the car radio tuned to a station playing Christmas music; timing as they say is everything.

                             

                                                        

    

    

The Race Begins at Old Churned Butter

                                                 The Starting Line

     My wife and I decided after our first Christmas together that we would do the same thing again each year when it came to shopping.  Our first year together we only had one car between us and that old bird didn't make it to the next one. We had a lot of fun trying to hide packages from each other that day. We agreed after such a romantic day filled with laughter we had to make it our holiday tradition. We started the day of with lunch at “Old Churned Butter” , which I was the name I gave  Cracker Barrel in one of those , “ I know what that is but I can’t think of the name but it’s something like this” moments. There are enough of those kinds of moments around our house on weekly basis that I could collect them into another blog post, which may or may not include translations.  The next year we followed the plan of the inaugural event, all the way to the driveway. Since I drove I had to wait while she took stuff inside, then it was my turn.

     By Christmas 2012 Dani had her own car, though we still started the day off at Old Churned Butter; yes, the name stuck. For the first time, we were running off in separate directions to get our shopping done. That day’s shopping was the prelude to our now annual race home, hoping to get presents in the house before the other one arrived.

     This year, is year 5 of our annual shopping together/apart tradition. As before, we kicked off the day by having lunch at Old Churned Butter together. After lunch, we decided to do something a little different, and started off our shopping in the same store. My wife insisted she take me to Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World, since I had never been there. Yes, I am the stereotypical guy when it comes to shopping; go to the store, know what I ‘m looking for, grab it, pay for it, and get the hell out. I have never been one to just rattle around in a store just to look at stuff, unless it’s a book store, and those are rapidly disappearing.  This, though, was quite a place, definitely a toy store for outdoorsman.

This sign, no doubt elicits many a giggle 

Another in a myriad of stuffed critters that stare at you from all over the store. He got that plaque for having a record sized head. Really.

     There is plenty of stuff to keep the kids occupied while Mom and Dad shop. There is a fish tank that is probably 12 to 15 feet deep filled with some good size fish. Next to the tank a waterfall cascades into a little pond, then spills into the tank; the sound assaults you when you walk in the door.

                                                                   

                             

                                                                   

A lot of catfish nuggets in that one.

     There are also games for kids on the main level and a shooting gallery for them in the gun section upstairs, which was the busiest section in the store other than the cash registers. We wandered around for a while, looking at stuff, and in an homage to the Walking Dead’s Daryl Dixon, stopped to check out the crossbows.  After the second, “what else do you want to look at honey?’ I realized it was my queue to leave, so I headed for the door. 

                                                                  

Not everyone may need one of these, but....

This is a must for everyone's reading room; there is a dog or a bear if you're not partial to  ducks.

     Our individual plans crossed paths again as we finished the day at the same store; my wife won the race home to hide stuff in the house, again. After we both got settled we realized that braving the stores had worn us out; I proceeded to fall asleep not long after I put my feet up.

     As Christmas traditions go, ours is not typical, though we've both been working crazy call center schedules since we met and we've had Christmas day off together only once. That is life in the salt mines of the city; you have to decide on a tradition that works for you. We have made our own tradition for Thanksgiving also; another holiday we've only shared once on its actual day. Holiday traditions are those little warm fuzzies we cherish; they are as much a part of any holiday as the reason for the holiday itself.  The world moves on, as the calendar reminds us it is always about addition, not subtraction, as the years melt away. Time and circumstances may change some of those traditions, as well as the players involved, but the essence remains the same. Those moments shared become frozen in the great eternal Now. They are called up each year as we remember those from days past, while we fully expect them to be there again next year when the day rolls around. That’s kind of what the season is about anyway isn't it; family, friends and fun. Cheers to Christmas traditions no matter what form they come in.