I Can't Believe it's Coach Speak...Spray

     Did anyone else see the Richard Sherman and Doug Baldwin press conference on Tuesday making fun of NFL policies? If the video above doesn't play, here is a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLbv4_TpsL8

     I’m sure it will get taken down pretty quickly and not because it isn't high comedy, which it’s not, or because it’s not safe for work, which it is: it will get the hook  because of the content.

    Living in Arizona Cardinals country I am definitely not a Seahawks fan, never have been and never will be. It is not necessary to be a Seahawks fan to appreciate some of the points these guys made in the video, though I think it will pretty much fall on deaf ears and probably cost each of them more than a few dollars.  Marshawn Lynch getting fined for not talking to the media started it and I don’t think this little drama is over yet. No doubt in a few days they both will be having a press conference to regale us with fake contrition and bow to King Roger the Double Face.

     As I've seen players and coaches get fined for not talking to the media more and more I’m reminded of Hall of Fame pitcher Steve Carlton, he refused to talk to the media for years and I don’t ever remember him getting fined for it.  And yes I know that was more than a few years ago, though pro sports is still pro sports and the media is still the same media since the first newspaper hit the stands. I don’t blame athletes’ for their reticence to talk to the media; half a sentence turned in to a sound bite can start an avalanche that would level a ski-resort in nothing flat. Some players just give lousy interviews; others can talk circles around the person handling the microphone and love to give interviews. Interview those guys and leave the players that can’t put two intelligent sounding sentences together back to back alone. 

     Say what you will about the masters of coach speak, Bob Knight and the two Bills, Belichik and Parcells, none of those guys really ever gave up anything and have no problem shutting down silly questions.  Granted, the answers any athlete or coach has to give during a press conference or an on the field interview pretty much sound like they came from a can. I think the NFL should give every player and coach a spray can of “Coach Speak”, each clearly labeled with instructions on the side to “Use when near media members”.  

     My thinking is the players’ associations in the major pro sports had to include availability to the media as part of any bargaining package they signed with the various leagues; no doubt it is a much bigger part than one would think and most likely a possible deal breaker if not included.

   Here’s a thought to those that think these guys get paid a lot of money to play a game, which they do, so they should always make themselves available to the media.  I have a game for you and you don’t have to make an NFL team to play. This is how it works. You agree to sign up to have anywhere from 70-80 car accidents ranging in speeds from 15 to 30 mph once a week for 3 to 3.5 hours, with a couple short breaks thrown in and then tell me how much you’ll really feel like talking to anyone after that. Just sayin’.

     These two guys, well one and a cardboard cut-out bring up some other salient points in their little skit, which when posed to league officials are usually answered in corporate rhetoric, even when someone points out the obvious. The rules have been changed; they are constantly being tinkered with, tightened in some areas, only to be loosened in others all under the pretense of player safety. “Yes, we are concerned about player safety, but the fans really enjoy the Thursday night games.” Translation: Everything before but is bullshit, and we care about more about the brand and the piles of money rolling in, player safety is nice but it's a secondary consideration.   

   The games in London are another example of the lie that is player safety.  Flying in a tin can of compressed air is tough enough going from coast-to-coast; the idea of essentially doing it twice back to back to get to a game in London is beyond ridiculous. Seriously, isn't the definition of insanity failing at the same thing over and over while expecting different results? I mean NFL Europe was such a rousing success, why not try something similar it will be huge success. False. Now they punish teams for winning the bid for the Super Bowl by having them give up a home game to play it in London once a year. I’m sure the stands will be filled to capacity to see the Jags play there 4 years in a row;better get your tickets now before they are all gone.

   I’m not surprised the response from the league office has been a no comment. It will be interesting to see how it plays out, though in the mean time I’ll go back to sipping a coffee and screaming at the TV on Sunday, and Monday, and Thursday.