Thoughts for a Mother's Day

 Circa mid-50's: Dad and Mom before I came along. Probably at Ocean Beach.

I haven’t celebrated a Mother’s Day with my mom since she took her step in 1985.  Over the ensuing years I have many times thought about who she was, the way she lived her last few years and the things she gave me that I carry today.

My folks were as different as night and day. I”d have to say my Dad was more of a “speak softly and carry a big stick” kind of guy. My Mom on the other hand was a 4'11" firecracker that you never knew if she was going to go off being silly or if she would just fall asleep with her crocheting in her lap. Though I've nurtured my own warped sense of humor, I’m sure I get my goofy, cornball sense of the ridiculous from her. She was a study in opposites. She would tell me dirty jokes as I got older but still wouldn't say the word pregnant.  Whether it was someone we knew or one of their critters the reference was always, “she’s PG” and it always made me laugh.

She was born the 9^th of 10 children in a small New England town. She often referred to the house where she grew up as "14 rooms and a path". Unlike my Dad, who left home at 14, my Mom was the one who stayed at home and took care of both her parents in their last days. I never got to meet either of them.

No doubt coming of age during the Great Depression had a profound influence on how she lived her life going forward. She was a great saver of all manner of things, especially small bits of paper.  She would cut up envelopes or trim any blank parts left on any piece paper she came across; basically any paper that had not been written on was fair game.  She kept them in a small inbox-like container near our kitchen phone.  It wasn't uncommon to find a note from her on the kitchen table cobbled together with these little scraps. I would come home to find a jigsaw puzzle without a solution spread out before me.  I almost needed a decoder ring to follow the narrative from beginning to end while deciphering her left-handed scrawl. This I inherited, the scrawl not the jigsaw notes.

She was a switch board operator for several companies, both large and small and also did clerical work along the way. My Mom and Dad met while she was working the main gate at General Dynamics in the 1950’s. She did some clerical work part-time before I hit school age then became a stay at home mom until I went to junior high. Her last job was as a receptionist at a nursing home and she was there until she got sick.

She hated this motorcycle though still asked me to take a picture.

In 1980 she developed breast cancer. I remember her doctor telling me after the surgery that the cancer had probably made its way into her bones. I didn't find out until after she passed that he didn't expect her to last a year. She hung on for over 5 years. She never lost her sense of humor or her love of good food and friends. She lived those last years with as much dignity and grace as humanly possible. She suffered in silence often and rarely complained about anything except the length of my hair or that I needed to stand close to my razor in the morning. She was pretty close mouthed about a lot of things. Dick, the nice fellow she kept company with the last few years she was with us, filled me in on much of what happened those last few years while I was living in another state.

Anyone who has experienced going through a deceased parent or relatives stuff knows how surreal it is. I kept turning around expecting her to be standing behind me in the door. Her sense of humor outlasted her. She loved to clip stuff from the newspaper whether it was comics,cartoons or Hints from Heloise. I found an envelope with part of her collection stuffed inside a box of filled with plastic fruit. Knowing her I'm sure she left them that way because she knew I would get a laugh. It worked; that find had us in stitches. What is the deal with plastic fruit anyway, I've never understood it. 

Believe it or not I did actually pay attention once in a while and was fortunate enough to gain some useful lessons from her; treat everyone with the respect they deserve but don't swallow bullshit unnecessarily. Keep your cards close to your chest though don't be afraid to love. Appreciate little things and remember that happiness is not about having what you want it’s about wanting what you have.

I have been blessed with a teacher and mentor who decided I would heretofore be known as her adopted son.  I've also been blessed with a mother-in-law that is a great lady even though she repeatedly kicks my tail at Words with Friends. I think she lets me win sometimes just so I’ll keep playing. Any man would be grateful to be as fortunate as I.

If my Mom was around today she’d no doubt be sneaking forbidden people food treats to my cats, loving my pretty little wife almost as much as I do and telling me I need to cut my hair.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mom’s out there for doing what you do. We do appreciate you. My hope is we all make sure we show you that instead of just tell you.

Inside Out Seasons

There is a phenomenon that I’ve experienced twice a year since moving to Arizona that I don’t’ remember experiencing in any other places I’ve lived.  It happens in the spring and again in the fall though the manifestations are complete opposites.  It’s been occurring here again at my abode the past week creating a nightly debate on whether or not to open the windows before bedtime. Spending 6 months stuck in air-conditioning breathing the same recycled air gets tiresome and I always attempt to put it off as long as I can.

During both spring and fall the temperature inside and the temperature outside just don't seem to match the season.  In the fall the outside temp can be around 74, 75 and inside the house it can struggle to hit 66.  If I dress based on the inside temp I’m overdressed.  When spring rolls around it can be cooler outside at around 75 and inside the house my thermometer tells me its 85.  No matter where I’ve lived here apartment, house, and now a trailer it happens, though I’m not sure if living in this trailer makes that discrepancy more noticeable or not.  Either way those occurrences become the best times of year to sit outside with a drink in one hand and a book in the other.

Spring has sprung in virtually every part of the country by this point in the year. Some locales are still experiencing cold nights after a day of glorious sunshine and open windows. Spring in most places means the snow shovel can go back in the garage and it’s time to string up the hammock in anticipation of those lazy days of summer. Spring brings rain that helps trees regain their foliage, flowers to bloom, and can cause flooding if the snowpack was rather deep the past winter. We have those bursts of nature out here in the desert southwest only we have flash floods instead, because drainage is afterthought and water goes where it wants to.

Here in Arizona we experience spring with a daily prayer that we won't have to turn the A/C on just yet. The average first 100 degree day is May 2nd and since we've already hit 100 this year you know the old A/C has been earning its keep. 

We've already prepared ourselves for that boiled owl feeling that occurs every Arizona summer, that time is fast approaching.  Because everything is air-conditioned here one is willing to venture outside, hopefully without burning your hands on the steering wheel before a trip to the grocery store.  The sun so hot I froze to death could very well apply if you work in an office out here. Most buildings here in summer typically have a temperature setting rivaling that of a meat locker; stepping outside will make you shiver.  It is not uncommon to see someone waiting for a bus in 110 degree heat with a sweater over their arm and it just looks odd, really odd. 

Summer here can be like winter in other places; that extreme in temperature you just learn to deal with because you live there. We sure do get some gorgeous sunsets though.

I Bet You Won't Finish Your Popcorn

This first weekend in May 2015 wields a double edged sword. The weekend that essentially started on Thursday could be either sports fan nirvana or the final debacle for a degenerate gambler.

The yearly talent crapshoot known as the NFL draft kicked off the weekend on Thursday. Teams have probed, poked and tested about 2,000 of the young men they see as the top college talent. All that evaluation is done in the hope they will find the next Peyton Manning and not the next Ryan Leaf. After a season that offered as much if not more coverage given to off the field issues than to the play on the field, the word “character” became the hacky sack of every broadcast.  I guess watching Jameis Winston throw the football makes everyone forget about the other stuff.  For every Tyrann Mathieu there are 5 Justin Blackmon’s it seems. Only time will tell if all the character questions had merit, though I will be surprised if more than 3 of the top picks in this draft play out their rookie contract.  The most popular bets available on the draft define insanity; you can bet on where any player will be drafted, who the first running back drafted is and which conference will have the most players drafted. I will bet that any players unfortunate enough to be drafted by those whoopee cushions known as the Redskins and Browns will come to camp stocked up on Prozac to cope with the insanity.

Saturday presents us with the most exciting two minutes in sports followed later by the richest fight in boxing history. The Kentucky Derby is the only “pre-game” that rivals the Super Bowl. At least with the Derby there are other races to watch instead of seventeen human interest stories about a player’s gardener’s dog’s barber. Well, all the pre derby stuff is worth watching just for the big crazy hats isn't it? The races yes, for the hats no, no it’s not.  It was unfortunate that California Chrome missed the Triple Crown last year since it was a neat story of a great little horse, though it only furthered the notion there will never be another Secretariat.  My pick, Carpe Diem, didn’t carpe enough, which is why I don’t bet on horse racing unless I happen to be at the track in Saratoga Springs. I hit the trifecta the last time I went though it sure wasn't enough to retire to St. Thomas.

I hope the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight lives up to the hype after waiting so long for it to happen. Apparently it is already the richest fight in boxing history and at $ 90.00 for pay-per-view in standard def I think I’ll stick with plain old Netflix.  I went to a pay-per-view event for Tyson- Spinks (I didn't buy the tickets) and that was over before I finished my popcorn.  I hope anyone that made the investment on this fight gets to finish theirs. These guys are both long in the tooth for boxers though I expect the fight to go the distance. I don’t see either being able to knock the other out, unless it’s happens to be of the Hollywood double knockout variety.

Behind these big three, the NBA and NHL playoffs are in full swing and into the second round. I’m going on a short limb and wagering these early rounds will have more drama than the finals in either league.  We can’t forget baseball still has over 135 games to go before their playoffs begin. That season seems so long because of the number of games, though time wise it’s really only longer than the NFL.  If you’re a fan of any or all of the sports action this weekend I wish you luck in having the time to finish your popcorn. For all you gamblers out there I hope you managed to hang on to enough gas money to get to you to work Monday. If not, I hope you have a good pair of shoes and a friendly looking thumb or maybe even some leftover popcorn.